Overheard in Netherhall

all good things...

2006-05-08T18:12:00.001+01:00

must come to an end.

it was a good idea at the time but now every one of the editors to this site have become too bored with the site to continue it.

the short attention span strikes again. but, feel free to read the archives of the site because they are very funny.

if you need something to read to fill the sudden vacuum in your life go on my website, the nation-of-duncan.

all good things...

2006-05-08T18:12:00.000+01:00

She's ageing rather quickly

2006-04-27T20:29:00.000+01:00

Teacher: I could call you a crumpet, but not really because im a girl, woman, old person...
Guy: Dinosaur

staircase 5, lesson 3

Overheard by Duncan

Why's that do you think?

2006-04-27T14:45:00.000+01:00

Dumb Girl: (Taking bite out of bacon sandwitch) This tastes like pig.

Canteen, Lunch Time

Overheard by Peter and Michael

he doesn't need anybody

2006-04-25T15:39:00.000+01:00

random guy: i don't need fun!

library, 2nd lesson

overheard by: duncan

it's not that he's too clever...

2006-04-25T15:36:00.000+01:00

guy 1: you're too clever you should be sent to live on an island somewhere.
guy 2: you mean an island like britain?

library, 2nd lesson

overheard by: duncan

medical miracles part 2

2006-04-24T21:17:00.000+01:00

year 10 girl: your breasts are too big, give her some.

morning registration, year 10 area

overheard by: marc

medical miracles part 1

2006-04-24T21:13:00.000+01:00

year 10 girl: yes you can breast feed through your nose.
other girl: no you can't you idiot!

morning registration, garden

overheard by: marc

please listen carefully to this announcement

2006-04-21T19:06:00.000+01:00

female teacher: oh! i have a wedgie!

library, lesson 2

overheard by: guy and clair

and why are you interested?

2006-04-21T19:03:00.000+01:00

year 10 girl - sir, do you get vaginal dryness?
male teacher - you shouldn't know about that till the menopause!

staircase 7, period 4

overheard by: clair

there was a sudden tectonic shift

2006-04-20T18:21:00.000+01:00

dumb girl: has the time difference changed? cos i feel like im in spain its so hot!

canteen, after-school

overheard by: stephen

Why the extended holiday?

2006-04-20T14:55:00.000+01:00

Guy1: Maybe we should have 2 weeks off for Trafalger day.
Teacher: I can't remember what it's commemorating.
Guy2: I think it was the battle of Trafalger, wasn't it?
Girl: Maybe they’re celebrating the day they built Trafalgar square

Library Computer Room, Lesson 6

Overheard by Matt and Duncan

Sexually Transmitted Malteasers

2006-04-20T14:02:00.000+01:00

Silly Girl: Did you just say my Malteasers have AIDs?

Library Computer Room, Lesson 5

Overheard by Matt and Duncan

all you need is...

2006-04-20T13:53:00.000+01:00

guy 1: she was in love with me!
girl: there's no such thing as love.
guy 2: she's having a bad day.

library computer room, lesson 5

overheard by: campbell

like a crazy version of superman

2006-04-20T13:42:00.000+01:00

crazy guy: you know in the easter holidays i went to sleep at 7 o'clock on monday night and didn't wake up until 12 o'clock wednesday dinner time.
year 13: i don't think thats physically possible.
crazy guy: most of the things i do aren't physically possible!

media, lesson 4

overheard by: marc

they're all famous film stars

2006-04-20T13:36:00.000+01:00

teacher: you know the bar scene in star wars? the one where they walk into a bar filled with loads of weirdos who are all drunk and playing weird music? that's my year 9 class.

staircase 5, lesson 4

overheard by: duncan

if you are happy and you know it...

2006-04-19T22:46:00.000+01:00

girl 1: are you feeling alright? you look like you're in a bad mood.
girl 2: no i'm in a good mood today
girl 1: oh yeah it's because you can't smile.

morning registration, staircase 5

overheard by: anne

pleased to hear it

2006-04-19T17:25:00.000+01:00

random girl: i don't have boobs on my head!

library, lunch time

overheard by: duncan

no i don't do geography, why'd you ask?

2006-04-19T17:21:00.000+01:00

sixth form girl: aberystwyth the university of wales? that sounds asian.

library, lunch time

overheard by: duncan

take a break

2006-04-04T14:37:00.000+01:00

it's currently the easter holidays so, unsuprisingly, there is nothing to overhear in our school.

it's a beautiful day outside. stop looking at this screen.

it's the taking part that counts

2006-03-31T16:08:00.000+01:00

teacher: what do a £2 coin, a telescope, an apple and a glass prism have in common?

a kid puts up his hand.

teacher: yes?
kid: a £2 coin!
teacher: erm... well done for trying.

assembly, 2nd lesson

overheard by: duncan

yes, it's very well hidden

2006-03-30T14:58:00.000+01:00

dumb girl: i thought the grand canyon was in rheged!

library computer room, lesson 4

overheard by: peter

just a friendly guy

2006-03-30T14:57:00.000+01:00

guy: i like him but everytime i talk to him on the internet i just want to kill him

library computer room, 6th lesson

overheard by: duncan

he is secure in his masculinity

2006-03-30T14:48:00.000+01:00

teacher: and so julia roberts in 'love actually'...
sixth form guy: you're thinking of notting hill, wait no i mean, i shouldn't have said that.
teacher: you sad git

staircase 5, 3rd lesson

overheard by: duncan

Not the most conventional method...

2006-03-24T09:20:00.000Z

Girl 1: You know what Co-op should do? They should make a sausage sandwich and throw it.
Girl 2: Yeah, they can catapult it and we can stand with our gobs open and catch it.

Library Computer Room, Lesson1

Overheard by Matt

And Cardiff is in Russia

2006-03-24T09:06:00.000Z

Guy: Remember when she thought East Anglia was in Africa?

6th Form Block, Before school

Overheard by Matt

Not a lot going for her

2006-03-23T14:09:00.000Z

Guy 1: She's thick
Guy 2: She's diseased
Guy 3: Good luck to her then!

Ellen Theatre, Lesson 2

Overheard by Marc

Yes Sir! Good comeback Sir!

2006-03-23T14:05:00.000Z

Teacher: Shut up in there!
Guy: Apologies Miss
Girl: Kiss arse
Guy: Hey, this is my school, I'll do whatever the hell I want!

Library Computer Roon, Lesson 5

Overheard by Peter

It's all a matter of personal preference

2006-03-23T13:53:00.000Z

Teacher: Lad, girls with hairy legs, yes or no?
6th Former: No
Teacher: Correct!

Staircase 4, Lesson 4

Overheard by Duncan

Not even a 12 year old?

2006-03-23T13:50:00.000Z

Teacher: There's nothing better than seeing an 11 year old wretch everywhere

Staircase 4, lesson 4

Overheard by Duncan

he caught sight of himself in a mirror

2006-03-23T07:51:00.000Z

guy wearing blonde wig and fireman's helmet: i need a life

back-stage, 1st lesson yesterday

overheard by: duncan

Keep it to yourself next time please

2006-03-21T14:30:00.000Z

Girl: I think i'm on, i'm feeling a bit moist.

Ellen Theatre, Lunchtime

Overheard be Matt

time for some geography

2006-03-20T20:11:00.000Z

guy 1: when you donate the blood it can go anywhere
guy 2: but what if it goes to pennsylvania?
guy 1: what do you mean? why would that be a problem?
guy 2: you know, dracula!
guy 1: no, that's trannsylvania!
guy 2: no i mean the trannsylvania in pennsylvania.

library computer room, 3rd lesson

overheard by: duncan

Whatever turns you on I suppose...

2006-03-20T11:22:00.000Z

6th Form guy: Of fuck, that's good muffin!

Ellen Theatre, Breaktime

Overheard By Matt

you are what you don't eat

2006-03-17T18:34:00.000Z

dumb girl: is anyone else feeling jewish today? i am. I think it's because i haven't been eating pork recently. or is it muslims who don't eat pork? maybe i'm feeling muslim today.

ellen theatre, 3rd lesson

overheard by: duncan

so what do you live in?

2006-03-17T18:31:00.000Z

random girl: i know what a fortress is. is it like a hut?

ellen theatre, 3rd lesson

overheard by: duncan

so does she have irish ancestry?

2006-03-16T17:33:00.000Z

girl: i would have though epilepsy was a type of lebrechaun.

ellen theatre, 5th lesson

overheard by: duncan

none of them new-fangled teaching methods

2006-03-15T13:37:00.000Z

teacher: no you don't want to use pictures, pictures excite the children too much. you want to use plain text to dull them.

staircase 4, 4th lesson

overheard by: duncan

Yes, it's your IQ

2006-03-15T09:08:00.000Z

Year 7 kid: Is 31 a number?

Library, Period 1

Overheard by Matt

Now that's weird...

2006-03-14T18:12:00.000Z

Year 10 Girl: I'm still your Daddy, Bez!

McCarron yard, Lunchtime

Overheard by Matt

i'm going to patent you

2006-03-14T09:51:00.000Z

random girl: you are the cure for period pains.

library computer room, 1st lesson

overheard by: duncan

just a casual, everyday greeting

2006-03-13T19:29:00.000Z

guy 1: good morning.
guy 2: i've been sick 5 times already this morning

ellen theatre, 2nd lesson

overheard by: duncan

you should really see a doctor about that

2006-03-13T19:26:00.000Z

6th former: oooh, i hate feet!! just look at them!! rite... put your foot up!! now put your hand on it! wiggle!! Oh my god... it feels like a pet!

ellen theatre

overheard by: sarah and danielle

most fetishes are safe...

2006-03-13T15:39:00.000Z

6th form girl: i like being suffocated

ellen theatre, break

Overheard by Gary

spot the innuendo

2006-03-10T10:43:00.000Z

random girl: it’s not going in, it’s too big to go in!

library computer room, break time

overheard by: duncan

you won't like it when i'm angry

2006-03-10T10:40:00.000Z

girl: (talking to self) don’t mess with me child or I’ll lamp him, I’ll grot on his face.

library computer room, break time

overheard by: duncan

in life?

2006-03-10T10:35:00.000Z

year 9: (talking to self) i’m going the wrong way.

staircase 4, 4th lesson yesterday

overheard by: ...

it's just a small step from tears to death

2006-03-10T10:20:00.000Z

girl 1: i’m going to cry.
girl 2: yeah me too in fact I’m going to kill myself let’s go together! thelma and louise style!

library computer room, lesson 2

overheard by: duncan

if you need a definition of rude

2006-03-10T10:14:00.000Z

6th form girl: i don't understand what you mean nathan, i think it's because i'm not listening to you.

library computer room, 2nd lesson

overheard by: duncan

Are you talking to your Dog?

2006-03-09T18:10:00.000Z

Guy: You just licked my face!
Don't lick my face?
I wish you wouldn't do that!

Ellen Theatre, afterschool,

Overheard by Matt

now that's what i call discipline part 2

2006-03-09T14:22:00.000Z

teacher: how old are you? 12? well i'm 28 so shut up.

staircase 5, 5th lesson

overheard by: duncan

now that's what i call discipline

2006-03-09T13:55:00.000Z

teacher: how old are you?
kid: 13
teacher: well i had my first pint before you were born so shut it.

staircase 5, 4th lesson

overheard by: duncan

half a person passed, and half a person failed...

2006-03-09T13:47:00.000Z

sixth form girl: so if he was only teaching 10 people and 25% passed then that's how good teacher he is, whatever 25% of 10 is.

6th form computer room, 5th lesson

overheard by: duncan

What a waste of breath.

2006-03-08T19:43:00.000Z

Student: sir, can we use your computer to print some stuff off

Crazy teacher: yeah ok go ahead as long as you stay quiet and only breathe twice.

Student: How many times??

ethics lesson

overheard by Gary

it's an achievement...

2006-03-08T17:12:00.000Z

guy 1: i stayed up till 5 too 5 watching the oscars!
guy 2: why did you think i'd be impressed by that?

2nd lesson last monday, ellen theatre

overheard by: ...

a very educated infant

2006-03-08T17:09:00.000Z

random guy: i was teaching a crash course in learning how to swim to a bunch of 5 and 6 year olds and i tried to take a float of a little 5 year old and he said 'you cant do that' so i said 'why not' and this 5 year old kid said 'because i will jolly well go under!'

staircase 5, lesson 5

overheard by: duncan

the award for strangest conversation of the day:

2006-03-08T17:04:00.000Z

year 10: you can lick my stretch marks if you want.
year 13: ok then, i hate you, you ogre.

outside staircase 3, afternoon registration

overheard by: duncan

she be may be literate but politeness is another thing

2006-03-08T09:24:00.000Z

random guy 1: and if you don't forward this email to 15 people within...
random guy 2: you know you reading to her is quite patronising, i'm sure she can read you know.
random guy 1: yeah i do actually read to her a lot, she likes it when i read to her.
girl: i'm sorry, were you reading to me?

the stage, break time

overheard by: duncan

tell them that on the building site

2006-03-07T16:46:00.000Z

random girl: you don't know what a jcb is? it's a song!

library, 4th lesson

overheard by: duncan

what are you going to do with it?

2006-03-07T16:45:00.000Z

sixth form girl: will you phone them up and ask them how much it would be for a nipple?

ellen theatre, 5th lesson

overheard by: duncan

best not to ask

2006-03-07T16:41:00.000Z

random guy 1: so your underwear was riding all the way up your leg shouting 'woo yeaaahh'
random guy 2: what sort of underwear do you wear, i mean really?

backstage, 2nd lesson

overheard by: marc

he was a young headmaster as well

2006-03-07T16:39:00.000Z

(a girl is reading a plaque that says 'in memory of j. w. penn headmaster of netherhall school 1953 - 1963)

girl: he didn't live very long!

ellen theatre, break time

overheard by: duncan

he's omniscient, so he watches you all the time

2006-03-07T16:35:00.000Z

year 7: you're my tutor, not god!

ellen theatre, lunch time

overheard by: stephen

almost a whole 8 inches!

2006-03-07T16:08:00.000Z

random guy: coat-hangers really are huge aren't they?

ellen theatre, 1st lesson

overheard by: duncan

is that even possible?

2006-03-06T22:02:00.000Z

sixth form girl: oh my god have i just bummed nathan?

ellen theatre, lunch time

overheard by: duncan

i wonder where they have been

2006-03-06T21:56:00.000Z

girl: oh my god, your feet smell like cheesy ass

media, unspecific time

overheard by: nathan

over-read at netherhall!

2006-03-05T14:12:00.000Z

Y7 history test paper

Question: The Romans invaded Britain in 54BC. What did Britain have that the Romans wanted? (3 marks)

Y7 Answer: cars, soup, ropes

from the ceiling miss...

2006-03-03T16:44:00.000Z

6th form girl: Its snowing!!!

Member of staff: Where???

library, 3rd lesson

overheard by Gary

it's where i get changed

2006-03-03T11:39:00.000Z

guy: i saw you last night.
girl: did you? where at?
guy: top carpark, in a car.
girl: oh then you probably saw my boobs as well then.

1st lessom, media

overheard by: marc

the painless alternative to suicide

2006-03-03T11:36:00.000Z

random guy: why are lying on the floor?
girl lying down: i hate my life and if i lie on the floor it passes quicker.

ellen theatre, break time

overheard by: duncan

it's all about food

2006-03-02T14:03:00.000Z

desperate girl: will you be my boyfriend?
random guy: what's in it for me?
desperate girl: a pompadom.

library computer room, 5th lesson

overheard by: duncan

the clue is in the name

2006-03-02T13:51:00.000Z

guy: yorkshire puddings don't come from yorkshire!

ellen theatre, 5th lesson

overheard by: duncan

history isn't what you'd call his best subject

2006-03-02T13:47:00.000Z

dumb guy: i'm telling you, there was a world war three! it was the vietnam war!
other guy: how can it be a world war if there were only 2 countries involved?

outside ellen theatre, lunch time

overheard by: duncan

it's like a delayed suicide

2006-03-02T13:43:00.000Z

guy 1: hows things?
guy 2: things are awful.
guy 1: why's that?
guy 2: i'm still alive.

ellen theatre, 5th lesson

overheard by: gary

and i want to know that because...

2006-03-02T13:38:00.000Z

random guy: my dog is sexy.

year 11 area, 3rd lesson

overheard by: duncan and stephen

didnt you eat enough at dinner?!

2006-03-01T18:00:00.000Z

6th form girl: oh my god im choking on gary's head!

ellen theatre dinner time

overheard by guy, ste and danielle

isnt that illegal?

2006-03-01T15:56:00.000Z

6th form girl: get your tinger out sir

ethics lesson

overheard by gary

it's on the national curriculum now

2006-02-28T23:28:00.000Z

teacher: fear is something that must be learnt.

english block, 4th lesson

overheard by: duncan

so how were you born?

2006-02-28T13:57:00.000Z

guy: what's with the foetal position?
girl: what? are you saying i'm lying like a piece of shit?
guy: no, i said foetal. it means like a feotus.
girl: oh right so not like faeces then?

ellen theatre, 3rd lesson

overheard by: stephen

he likes the younger women

2006-02-28T13:47:00.000Z

sixth former: (talking to 6th former) if you were 5 years younger you would be so cute!

library, 5th lesson

overheard by: duncan and guy

lot's of self-harm on kid's programmes

2006-02-28T13:44:00.000Z

girl 1: emo? what's emo? is that like sesame street? is emo a character of sesame street?
girl 2: no that's elmo!

break time, ellen theatre

overheard by: duncan

Science isn't your strong point is it?

2006-02-28T13:37:00.000Z

Sixth form girl: What are Biological Studies?

Theatre, Break time

Overheard by Matt

those goose-steeping football fans

2006-02-27T17:31:00.000Z

guy: so then she said i remember what fascists are, they're followers of the footballer john fashanu aren't they?

ellen theatre, break time

overheard by: duncan

well perhaps you could go do it somewhere else

2006-02-27T17:30:00.000Z

singing girl: no i won't stop singing to myself, it makes me feel one with myself

staircase 4, 1st lesson

overheard by: duncan

just a little understatement

2006-02-27T17:27:00.000Z

6th former: and the nazi christian movement were not the biggest fans of the jews.

staircase 4 , 1st lesson

overheard by: duncan

an important announcement

2006-02-18T13:46:00.000Z

we regret to announce that new quotes will be suspended until february 27th as it is currently the half-term holidays so no-one is in school.

now go outside and play.

the pro and con of not having a brain

2006-02-18T13:02:00.000Z

1st student: if you didn't have a brain you'd be lighter wouldn't you?
2nd student: no but if you didn't have a brain then you wouldn't see anything the right way round because your brain turns the image round doesn't it?

media, lesson 5

overheard by: stephen

reasons why it's good to have an obscure name

2006-02-18T12:58:00.000Z

sixth former: i get so worried when people with the same name as me die, it's like a sign that my time is coming.

lunch time, ellen theatre

overheard by: duncan

try not to think about it

2006-02-18T12:56:00.000Z

year 8 girl: if you want a thought to sober you up, imagine our tutor in a bikini.

staircase 4, afternoon registration

overheard by: fiona

Is that funny or sick?

2006-02-18T01:20:00.000Z

Teacher: Who's making all that noise?!
Random kid: Your wife.
Teacher: My wife doesn't scream.
Random kid: Why? Do you not pleasure her enough?

Random science class, Thursday lesson 5

Overheard by Jake

Say that again please...

2006-02-18T01:17:00.000Z

Teacher: You've got to go to your year seleven allembly!

Year 10 area, before morning registration on Friday

Overheard by Scott

i knew there were bestiality rumours going around

2006-02-17T17:06:00.000Z

sixth form girl: "the cornish pastys taste like sweaty farmyard head. like, you know when you lick a cow..."

media lesson

overheard by several listeners

You tell me

2006-02-17T09:26:00.000Z

Random queer: Can you get homosexual socks?

Library, Lesson 1

Overheard by: Duncan

Up in the sky!

2006-02-17T09:21:00.000Z

Sixth form guy: Look, there's Superman, I mean Clair.

Library, Lesson 1

Overheard by Matt, Emma

Too much information

2006-02-16T19:17:00.000Z

Year 10 girl: "I've dug myself a hole with a JCB and now i'm spooning myself out."

Staircase 8, Lunchtime

Overheard by Matt and Lou

And in the red corner...!

2006-02-16T19:12:00.000Z

Teacher: Stay at the bottom of the stairs and don't make a disturbance or i'll knock you out.

Staircase 8, Lunchtime

Overheard by: Jake and Stephen

Put what?

2006-02-16T11:06:00.000Z

Sixth form girl: Shout me which socket you're gonna put it in!

Backstage Ellen Theatre, Lesson 2

Overheard by: Matt and Duncan

I'd rather you were a sheep.

2006-02-16T11:02:00.001Z

Sixth former: Am I a good goat or a bad one?

Outside the theatre, lesson 1

Overheard by Matt, Duncan and Stephen

I did wonder why I was getting fatter

2006-02-15T21:04:00.000Z

Girl: Should I still have crisps in my diet?
Teacher: Don't be silly, there's loads of fat in crisps.
Girl: Really?! I had no idea there was fat in crisps!

Drama studio, Tuesday lesson 2

Overheard by ...

the post office: bastion of homophobia

2006-02-15T14:32:00.000Z

queer: i can't go to the post office in workington, i'm gay.

staircase 3, lunch time

overheard by: duncan